RoYaL_bUm's Xanga

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 03:32:19 GMT

i feel like im lost right now and i dont know what to do. i know theres something missing but i dont know what.
where can i find it to fill the deep void in my heart. what im feeling right now, it is as if the world keeps on running
but only i have fallen out of the cycle and i am staring at the people as they live their normal lives, but not one
knows what their doing and just lives the way they believe until the sweet relese of death befalls on them. The
meaning of life, i feel as if if that answer is told i can rejoin the pathetic wheel of life. Some say that the one and
only meaning is God and no questions asked. Well i have questions but when i ask noone has the answer,
does that not mean that they are living their lives not knowing how to either? doesnt that mean the people who
think they have all the questions answered and holds all the keys actually have absolutely nothing and are underneith
asking the same questions themselves? I have asked God i prayed to God and my wonderings were not answered.
Then those idiots that think that finding the one person in the world for them is the goal to achieve in life. I think thats
bullshit. how many people actually marry outside their race. Probably a lot but not over half so what if the real person u
are looking for are from a different place than u. So i gave up on that idea. im just searching for the right answers and
looking for the right keys to unlock the door which traps the truth behind it. If u know the answer please tell me. for i am
searching aimlessly and becoming restless looking for the one meaning of life.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 04:33:16 GMT

the day that i die

will u be there?

at least mourn for me

share some despair

as im suffering

all i can think of is u

but all u can see is him

my heart breaks in 2

weep for me

just squeeze one tear

let me be close to ur heart

let me be near

but i guess u dare not

drop one single drop

for u despise me

from bottom to top

i see ur fake smile

ur disgusted face

every time u look at me

i feel so disgraced

from the tip of my head

to the toes on my feet

u just wanna go stop

the day we meet

ill just leave this world

leave u to be

for i know how u feel

hatred for me

but please i beg u

oh please just try

shed one tear

the day that i die

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 19:49:53 GMT

If i get to chose one thing
id chose how id die
i want it to be beutiful
and make everyone cry

i want my death
to be so great
something noone
can immitate

everyone will know
my spetacular name
ill be hanging forever
in deaths wall of fame

the way i wanna die
theres something u have to do
i want to die that moment
when hugged too tightly by u

Monday, March 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:46:02 GMT

yea yea another dumbass poem im sry lol

try to push u away
try to leave u behind
try so hard
cant get u outa mah mind

losing strength
losing control
cant think straight
lost my soul

played the game
lost it all
cant recover
from this fall

gambled away
my last hope
god im stupid
wut a dope

nothing is perfect
nothing is fine
just laying there
thinking bout dying

wut would it be like
to lose my spirit
will my life flashback
will i see it?

if thats really true
just show me one part
where we first fell in love
from the very start

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 20:15:14 GMT

just took my weekly hour bath ahhhh feel so good love baths lol im such a girly guy ;p hmmmm well lets see this week went to school played rag some watched chobit ahhh so relaxing all the time except i cant sleep very wel...and too much thoughts in my head...well at leastcompared to how many are usually in there lol now im just listening to music and having a good time i wish i had gone out today but i over slept and had to stay home boo hoo...well see u all 2morrow at church

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 23:16:23 GMT

hmmm....life sure is great u know the best thing about life is it never so bad that it cant get worse to u'no if u think ur life is pretty messed up right now think of how it could be even worse and then ull feel more depressed and all sad and u can hang w/ me then^_^ j/k life is great tho sungs over and hes sleeping like an angel...no really...both hands on his chest and legs straight....10 inch boner sticking out....hmm wonder wut hes dreaming about lol j/k but he is sleeping very gently lol anyway gonna go jump on him lol peace out dawgs or wuteva im trying a new gangsta thing yea uh huh thats right im getto lol

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 05:07:50 GMT

i know u wanna go
im saying just leave
i dont care anymore
not my 1st time decieved

it just hurts too much
i cant take the pain
just hurt me one more time
and dont come back again

my hearts so sore
its bleeding inside
my rotten love
must've died

i held back my hate
i pushed it back in
its exploding now
deep within

im losing my mind
im losing my sense
the killing feeling
is so imense

i tried to be nice
its not working out
so fuck it now!!!
ur leaving no doubt

screw it fuck it
theres no thing like love
its just some crap
someone made up

it seems as though
even god has turned
turned his back
my life just burned

just say u hate me
and just leave me alone
i guess now i really wish
i was never born

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 03:42:21 GMT

HEY U YEA U all u stupid girls out there...wut do u want from a simple minded guy...wut do i have to do to be accepted by u, its as if everything we do is just another mistake just come out and say wut u want then mabey we;ll act to ur likings..i dont even know wut girls have going on inside their head im not sure if i even wanna know...girls are evil evil i tell u their gonna try to take over the world just when the dolphin pple attack..ull see...ull all see...but seriously wut do u guys expect just tell me so i get kicked in the ass next time lol

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 04:14:31 GMT

hey everyone valintines comen hope u all found someone to spend stupid amounts of money on chocolette for haha, who invented this stupid thing n e wayz...just a loda crap....except i do like chocolette...expect none from me if u dont give me a hug ¤»¤» how i should sleep...like ova 12...but i cant...no one to chat w/ no 1 to spend tis night with *sigh.....u peeps sleep 2 eaarly...school darnnit i hate it... hm...gonna go watch tv and fall asleep on the couch i guess...im hungry...shouldnt eat...temptation over whelming.....cant resist.....argghh..... yea have fun reading all this if u dont ull be cursed and end up with no one on V-day haha oodgay yebay that means bye in my language study it

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 04:52:47 GMT

i want a giant bear hug, i want a big wet kiss, i want to be with someone special, i want to soar with the wind, i want to want to be seen, i want to fly away, i want to jump off the empire state building, i wanna cry, i wanna bury myself into a hole, i wanna dance, i wanna sing, i wanna sleep, i wanna talk, i wanna be with my friends, i want someone to love, i want someone to love me, i want alot of things but alot of them i cant get